I Told You Not To Come Around Me!
by Lonigan
Summary: In the early days of Ooo, the kingdoms formed and enjoyed peace. To celebrate, the Queen of the Candy Kingdom holds a ball for Ooo's finest. And who should attend? Marceline the Vampire Queen! But so too does an old friend, bringing up memories.
1. Chapter 1

After the Mushroom War devastated the world, the world found themselves without law and order. For many generations, the new races of the world scavenged what they could out of the rubble, but it would not be long before this ran out. Soon, people found they had to grow their own food, and others came to share in their bounty and worked around them. As these places grew, so did the population, and the leftover citizens would dedicate themselves to the crafts, arts, or to defending their homes.

But who would lead the people? Who would protect them, and inspire them in times of darkness? The oldest families of these lands with the kindest of hearts or the fiercest of fists were chosen by the people to rule them, and their children, and their children's children would uphold the traditions and laws set out by their councils.

Thus came the kingdoms of Ooo, from the forever burning lands of the Fire Kingdom, to the bitter cold of Ice Kingdom, or the fruitful forests of the Wild-berry Kingdom, to the delicious wonder of the Candy Kingdom; to name a few.

It was some three-hundred years after the collapse of civilisation, that civilisation began once again, and it prospered in peace. To celebrate, the generous Candy Kingdom's King Chocolate Topping and Queen Ice Cream announced to the lands that they would be holding a royal ball for all of Ooo's royalty, esteemed, and heroes to partake in.

And who should catch wind of this ball? None other than Marceline the Vampire Queen. She had held the role for some time now, as she was unmatched in power because of her half-demon heritage. Still, a rogue vampire may challenge her every now and then merely for the title, but Marceline was in her vampire prime. It surprised her how the last three hundred years had passed as they did. It also blew her away how fast things could go from a chaotic wasteland, back into a utopia. She liked that she got to see the progress of it all, all the new species and creatures accelerating in their mutation into the different peoples.

In those days, Marceline took her role a little more seriously. She had an image to uphold, vampire clans to conquer, gangs to deal with. That's how it was in the underworld - organised chaos. She lived in a castle then, and people steered clear of it, knowing it to inhabit vampires.

You can imagine her surprise when she received an invitation from a candy messenger, asking for her attendance to the royal gathering. She almost threw it out, but decided to go instead, to have fun causing mischief if anything else. A part of her missed the company of goody-two-shoes candy people.

She considered rocking up in jeans, just to smite the dress code, but decided against this in case they would deny her admission. In the week leading up to the ball, she managed to find a dress that would have reminded you of Morticia from 'The Addams Family', except Marceline adjusted the bottom so that it was a mullet dress, so she could show off her spiked, laced high-heels. She also managed to find a gothic tiara in some treasure she had stolen a while ago. It was small, but it's ten points were thin and sharp. It was made out of silver, and had a blood red ruby below middle spike.

She barely recognised herself the afternoon before she went to the ball. She didn't feel like herself. She was happy in something loose, and casual. But, she decided that if she was going to look pretty at least once every hundred years, this would be the occasion.

She summoned horses of demonic fire from the underworld to pull her carriage, for she had to stay in it until the sun had set fully. She would be fashionably late, but at least she would not be burnt by the sun.

* * *

She arrived in the Candy Kingdom around 8 o'clock. She drew back the shades of her window, and looked down to all the terrified candy people staring at her demonic horses. When a crowd caught sight of her face, she bulged her eyes out and hissed, and laughed at their screams.

Soon, she was parked in front of the palace. Apparently, everyone else had decided to arrive fashionably late too, for she was behind three carriages, waiting to get out.

When it was her turn, a lollypop servant nervously opened her door.

"An-n-nouncing, Marceline Abadeer, the V-V-Vampire Queen," said the lollipop servant as Marceline stepped out.

Marceline spun around to the servant, and showed off her fangs, "How dare you speak my last name, pest! It's_ Marceline _the Vampire_ Queen_. Rhyme!"

The lollipop servant screamed and ran away, with Marceline smiling at it's terror. She gave a giggle, and looked up to see she had wrecked the nerve of a couple of princesses. Marceline gave a sigh, and floated into the ballroom, with cautious eyes following her in. Queen Ice Cream, who was standing to greet her guests at the door, was unnerved by Marceline.

"Ah, Marceline, I thought you wouldn't come," said Queen Ice Cream.

"Why did you invite me, anyways?"

"Why shouldn't I invite you? All of Ooo's finest are invited!"

Marceline chewed on the inside of her cheek, "Right."

"Don't be afraid to try some of the tarts, I'm sure you'll love the red jam and strawberries. I'm _this_ close to making the perfect tart," said Queen Ice Cream, and she went to greet the next guest.

Marceline wasn't too phased about Queen Ice Cream's laxness towards her. When she was just a princess, Queen Ice Cream was a lot of fun. They used to jam out together, and get up to loads of crazy stuff. But then she grew up, and got married, and she didn't have time for Marceline anymore. It was the course of life for Marceline. Meet people when they are fun. Go away when they grow up. She was beginning to tire of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Half an hour into the party, Marceline found herself talking to the Duchess of Nuts and Prince Hotdog, who both enjoyed her music. She always liked a conversation about her art, but in her mind, she was incredibly bored. She desperately wanted to speak to the Fire Prince and Fire King, as their evil nature excited her. But Marceline was locked in conversation.

A few more guests came in, and one in particular caught the eye of a few princesses. But, it was not the eye of admiration, but one of caution. So entered the man every Princess's mother told them to stay away from: the Ice King.

In those days, the Ice King's posture wasn't hunched, but straight. He also wore better clothes. For instance, tonight he wore a snow leopard print fur with a navy-blue cape over a dark-blue tunic and breeches. He also wore boots, and it being a special occasion, his beard was plaited and secured by a gold ring. He even had a crystal staff, with a diamond centre crafted by the Polar-Bear-Men.

He had actual subjects back in those days: the Polar-Bear-Men. They inhabited his kingdom, served the Ice King, and kept him in check. They were the smartest bears known to the land, but there were so few of them, and they consistently competed with the penguins for the Ice King's favour. They would grow tired of the Ice King in the next hundred years, and eventually leave him for a different frosty land.

Marceline recognised her old friend straight away. She actually didn't realise that Simon was royalty now, despite hearing of the Ice Kingdom and the Ice King, she hadn't really connected the dots until now. So, she was floored, to say the least. She had been so wrapped up in her life that she never bothered with the Ice Kingdom, which looked boring from a distance. Yet, it had been staring at her in her face the whole time.

In her youth, she had seen him on and off after her father found her and whisked her away to the underworld. Usually, Simon would just be wondering around, looking for something, or just being strange. She hadn't seen him in at least one-hundred and ten years. In that time, he had obviously established his kingdom. She thought it funny, that the both of them had assumed royalty with their immortality. As if it were something immortals should do.

Marceline got over her shock and noticed what the Princesses and other female guests were whispering.

"Such a strange man," they whispered, "Why would the Queen invite him?" and "I hope he doesn't come near me".

"Hey, hey, hey!" said the Ice King as he walked in. Two of his Polar-Bear-Men guards followed him in. They had the posture of men, huge muscles, and wore golden armour. Marceline giggled at his entrance a bit. He looked ridiculous, mind you, from what Marceline could remember about Simon, he was all about ridiculous.

She watched Queen Ice Cream greet him. Funnily enough, he made her more nervous than Marceline did.

"Oh, hello Ice King," she said apathetically, "It's nice to see your invitation didn't get lost in the mail."

He gave a chuckle, "Yeah! Guy with my invite almost ran off with the darn thing. He's in my dungeon."

"We'll talk about his release later," Queen Ice Cream scowled, "until then, enjoy yourself, but not _too _mu-"

"Will do, milady," he cut her off, and got down to one knee. You could hear his bones creak a bit as he moved. He took her hand and kissed it. When he left her, Queen Ice Cream discretely wiped her hand on her dress.

* * *

_**A/N:** This story is inspired by drawing I did of Marceline and Ice King in nice clothes, and I built a story around those illustrations. So, I guess this fic was basically inspired by the idea of "What if Marceline and Ice King actually tried to look like royalty?"._

_This is set about 600-700 years before Finn and Jake's time, when everything was new, the world had just healed, and all the fantastic lore of Ooo was being created._

_Also, Polar-Bear-Men aren't headcanon or anything, I just thought it'd be a nice touch._

_-Lonigan_


	3. Chapter 3

Later, Marceline found herself by the punchbowl, drinking a cup of untainted punch. After she had poured herself a cup, she spiked it with burping potion, just for some fun. Marceline was stuck for ideas of how to make the whole ordeal more interesting for her, so she kept with subtle pranks. Someone would sip their drink to find it laced with peppers, or someone would go to grab hors d'oeuvre, and find it had been moved at the last second.

Marceline was distracted more than anything. She consistently looked over to the Ice King to see what he was doing. His guards had left him to his own devices, and he would either sit alone for a while, or awkwardly try to step into conversations with groups, only to be shunned.

It was torturous to watch, and many times, Marceline thought of going over and saying hi. But, it had been a long time since they had seen each other, which meant he probably had no idea who she was to him.

It made her think back to when she was younger, just turned vampire. Marceline had finally found Simon sleeping by a camp fire after she had wondered off two years before. Marceline liked to live between her home world and the Nightosphere.

She recalled the days when Simon was living the hobo life, surviving on the hinge of dystopia. Marceline had woken him up, and she had expected that he would not to recognise her. He was frightened of her, of course, everyone was. When he had calmed down, she told him who she was, all the things they did together. The whole time, Simon merely stared at her, unable to recollect with her.

"We knew each other?" he had said.

"Yes, Simon."

He had no expression on his face. "And that's my name?"

It was the first time Marceline had seen him forget everything so completely. In the past, if you kept grilling him, Simon would eventually talk about something faint, the experiences she would tell him would be familiar, like deja vu. He used to even keep a journal to flip through, but he had lost it recently.

The thing she had noticed the most in the two year gap was a change in his personality. His I.Q. had dropped a couple of points. He experienced emotions more intensely. The change that stressed Marceline out was his constant confusion, not knowing what had happened to the world around him, not knowing the details of his life. He'd always been a little off, but the "offness" had intensified. The crown was hollowing him out in bigger chunks.

Marceline was just relieved to see that Simon still played music, which he still played badly as he only got into it for Marceline's sake. Marceline did not stay with him for longer than a couple of days. She had still suffered from insatiable bloodlust of her recent transformation, but it was the heartbreak of all those forgotten times that warded her off completely.

Over the years, she would look for him, just to see if he was alive, or he would find her by mistake. But, eventually she lost track of him as the world began to fix itself into what it was today. The new world order.

* * *

_**A/N:** Thanks for the reviewer picking up that orderve is actually hors d'oeuvre. Who the hell would guess that in a spelling test?_


	4. Chapter 4

It was getting late, and the crowd had become more rowdy. All that enchanted burping had somehow lightened the spirits of the guests, laughing at themselves, laughing at each other. It had become less of a gathering of Ooo's finest, and more like a party as the night progressed. The band played fast paced music, and people danced with partners. Marceline was happy to dance above the crowd, and Queen Ice Cream even spun around with her for a bit, for old time's sake.

When Marceline grew tired, she hovered down to one of the tables, sort of hovered/sat over a chair, and sucked the red out of someone's purse.

"Hey," said a voice from behind her.

Marceline's hair stood on its end for the first time in a decade. She turned to see the Ice King sitting behind her in the dark. She wondered how she did not see him, because he looked like he had been there for a long time.

"Oh, hey Ice King," she said, pretending to have not met him, "I'm Marceline, the_ Vampire Queen_."

"Vampire?" the Ice King panicked a bit.

"Don't worry, I wont stick my fangs into your neck," Marceline smiled. She couldn't help being happy when she talked to him. She was just filled with so many memories of laughter, and that buried the pain.

"Oh, uh, ok," the Ice King murmured, and he put his hands around his neck protectively, "You promise?"

"Yeah, man."

He gave her a stare for a bit, then put his hands down. Marceline gave him a stare back, but she was mainly just observing how much he had changed. The Polar-Bear-Men had obviously been taking good care of him. She hadn't seen him look this clean in over three hundred years.

Marceline looked away from him, hiding her red cheeks.

"Have we met before?" asked Ice King.

She looked back to him, "Do I look familiar?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at her, "Maybe we were destined to meet."

"Gross, dude."

"What? Gross? I thought you came over here to hit on me."

Marceline's face grew red, but to destroy any romantic thought he had of her, she turned her face into black goo and tentacles, and hissed, "Well, I didn't."

The Ice King trembled in his chair, and Marceline turned her face back to normal, watching the nervous sweat trickle from his brow. He swallowed down his fear and said, "Well..."

"Well what?"

"Why'd you come over here then?"

"To sit down," Marceline said, annoyed, "I didn't even see you."

"Oh," he said, disappointment clear in his voice.

Marceline gave a sigh, "We can still talk if you want."

"You want to talk _to me_?"

"Yeah."

"But you're not hitting on me?"

She was becoming annoyed, "Yes."

"Oh, um, ok," he said, smiling, "Are you single?"

Marceline only grew more irritated at this question, "Why does it matter?"

Ice King shrugged and hummed, "I dunno" in his throat.

She just shook his head at him, and considered leaving, but she noticed him looking down at something. He put his hand out past his knee, and lowered it slowly, then fast, like his hand was dropping through something. He gave a shiver, and drew back his hand.

"What _are_ you doing?" Marceline asked.

"Erm, I thought there was this cute dog-thing there," Ice King said, still looking in the direction of whatever he was trying to pat, "Eyes are playing tricks on me again."

Marceline put her hand out towards where he was looking, and pet the thin air, "Am I getting it?"

The Ice King was phased by her, but he said, "Yeah... That was accurate."

"Puppy, puppy, puppy," Marceline cooed to the thin air.

He shook his head at her, bewildered, "What the-is there really a dog there?"

"No, man," Marceline said, and discontinued patting, "well, I can't see it."

"You're messing with me," he said with a rise of anger in his voice.

"I mess with everyone," Marceline scowled at him, "but, no, look. I _get_ that you see stuff that other people don't."

Ice King was just growing more and more perplexed by the girl, "I haven't told anyone about... What? You sure we haven't met before?"

Marceline just mocked him, and replicated his shrug and hummed "I dunno" in her throat.

She realised her mistake then, that merely interacting with him was confusing him. Memories were struggling to rise, and his thoughts were getting cluttered. He stood up.

"I've gotta pee," he announced, and walked off to the bathrooms, muttering to himself.

Marceline felt the tears come before she could stop them. The memories of laughter were soon buried with the pain. The times when he shouted at her for no reason. The times when he'd take a moment to remember her name. The times when he'd scare her. Years and years and years of knowing someone, knowing who they were. Of mortal friends aging and dying around her, while she lived on. And this man, this man who had spent so much time with her, who could have been a friend throughout the eternity that was her immortal life, had no recollection of anything they did together.

She floated up and away, leaving the party, unnoticed by everyone except for Queen Ice Cream.


	5. Chapter 5

It had surprised her to see Marceline leave the party upset, having seen the vampire with Ice King earlier. This left Queen Ice Cream wondering what in the good name of Glob what the Ice King could say that could upset _her_.

When she saw the Ice King come out of the bathroom, she stormed over to him.

"What the heck did you say to Marceline?" the Queen hissed at him.

The Ice King was already disarmed, and merely threw his hands up in defence, "I didn't do anything."

"Well, all I saw was Marcy talking to you, then next thing I know, she's crying!"

"Crying?" Ice King was genuinely concerned.

"Yes! You go find her and apologise for whatever you said!" she ordered.

The Ice King soon found himself being pushed along by Queen Ice Cream to the exit. Soon, the two of them were under the nighttime sky.

"Go on!" she ordered.

The Ice King slipped the ring off his beard, and the plaits fell out immediately. Before he flew off, he said, "You know, you would have been really comfortable in the Ice Kingdom. Icing it up all day."

"I'm married, creep," Queen Ice Cream muttered, before heading back inside.

* * *

In the air, the Ice King scanned the area to find Marceline crying on top of one of the Gumball Guardians' head. He flew towards the Gumball Guardian, and swerved around so that he was in front of her.

"Are you ok?" Ice King asked.

Marceline jumped, and looked up to see him in front of her.

"You're flying... With your beard."

"I'm sorry, did I make you cry?"

"No!" she lied, "Look, just get out of here!"

When he didn't do anything, she took off her crown and threw it at the Ice King. He received the bottom side of it in the gut, and he curled over, and landed on top of the Gumball Guardian, hugging his stomach in pain.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Marceline panicked, and slapped herself in the forehead, "Stupid!"

The Ice King put up a peace sign, and wheezed, "I'm sweet." He sat down, next to Marceline, with little over a foot between them.

"Sorry," Marceline apologised again.

The Ice King took a moment, "It's what I get for making you cry."

"Look, I was crying about some other stuff that you wouldn't even get," Marceline said, resuming the position of her head on her knees. She looked out to the fairy floss trees and the starry sky above them.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, man," Marceline just put her head back in her knees.

A beat.

"How old are you again?" the Ice King asked.

"Three-hundred and forty-six," Marceline said without looking up.

"Whoa-nilly you're old," the Ice King blurted. She turned her head to frown at him.

The Ice King gave a nervous laugh, "I mean, looking good for three-hundred and forty-six."

"Ew, don't say... Wait, you can't talk, you're older than me!" Marceline jeered.

There was that look again. "I am?"

Marceline was sick of tip-toeing around it, "Yes! You're like, forty years older than me."

"Hey man, there's no way I'm _that _old! I'm like, thirty... Or something!" the Ice King raved, throwing up his arms, "In my prime!"

"No, you're older than me. You'd know that if you weren't such a nutter."

"I'm not a nutter. I'm hot!"

"Another thing, would you stop talking to me like that!" Marceline shouted, "It's messing me up!"

"I think _you're _the nutter!"

"Well tell me this then. What was your childhood like? Huh?"

The Ice King stared at her blankly.

"What's wrong, don't remember it? Don't remember your mommy, _Simon_!?"

"I... Remember!" he lied.

"Oh yeah, then why can't you remember me!?"

There was a long pause, and the Ice King was clearly freaking out at this vampire shouting at him, but for some reason, he relaxed, and small smile crossed his face.

"Is this what this is about?" Ice King smirked, "Did we hook up or something? I meet a lot of honnies, honey. You can't expect me to-"

The Ice King could not even finish his sentence. Marceline drew her hand back and gave him the slap of a life time. And he had lived a very, very long time already. He cried out, and rubbed his face. When the stars were gone from his eyes, he saw Marceline about to fly off. She was wiping at her eyes with her forearm, tears pouring down them and dripping from her elbow.

"You're a just a pervy jerk!" she shouted, "Don't come around me EVER AGAIN!"

And she flew off into the night sky, her sobs echoing in the vacant air.

The Ice King merely rubbed his cheek, his mouth hanging open.

"I'm sorry," he said, but she was too far gone to hear. And for a moment, he recognised he was too far gone as well.


End file.
